I’ve never been asked to give my opinion on a movie. Sure, I’ve given it many times without anyone involved in the film requesting it (The Hangover is awful, America, and you should accept it), but never has someone asked me to do it. I’m nervous. I don’t know how to approach it.
I should also mention it’s not a full-length movie. It’s a short film. But it’s awesome. It’s like the Spud Webb of films. If it got into a slam-dunk contest with The Hangover, it would do a double-reverse, 360 tomahawk jam then do the throat-slitting motion at The Hangover because The Hangover is just the same joke over and over again for 2 hours plus a guy with a beard who says weird stuff.
But enough about The Hangover. My friend’s movie is called If Walls Could Talk. After watching this film and knowing how it ends, it’s probably best the walls can’t talk, because they would give away the ending, and I’m pretty sure my friend wouldn’t want that. It would ruin the movie. The ending is good.
I guess I should tell you my friend’s name. It’s Steven Hoffner. He writes and stars in it. He may direct it too. I’m not sure. The video is password protected and I can’t remember what it is so I can’t check. He’s Canadian, so the password might be something weird like toonie or a regular English word with a “u” dropped in a weird spot, like mouvie. Nope, not that. Oh well. Let’s just say he’s the key grip.
There’s also a lady in the movie. Both are Canadian, as you can tell by the scene where they talk about going ootside in aboot five minutes to find oot aboot the horn tootings. No I’m just kidding. There’s no horn. But they do have Canadian accents, so it’s a foreign film. You should watch it when it goes public so you can sound cool when you tell your friends you saw this excellent short film that was made in another country.
Well, that’s all I have to say about this movie. It’s actually really well done with a solid twisty ending. He’s going to blurb me on his site based on this post. I hope he uses the graph where I call him the key grip. I thought that was funny.
Seriously, The Hangover sucks.
